Ultra Violet Outlook

Poem by Mark Cameron

Art by Haley Cheng

We are calling for halfmoon sunburns on the bare backs of teenagers with periods of Magnum bars at sundown. The Entertainer will play on repeat, Serving You Since 2011.


Expect an increase in airborne predators. Russian dolls in flight, an iterative dining experience.


Darkness will bring an influx of Daddy Long Legs inducing memories of childhood tortures inflicted one plucked leg at a time.


Tomorrow’s high (tide) will be 15 (feet) with a low of 3 (feet), carrying an increase in ferry traffic and a decrease in available parking.


A high-pressure ridge of seawater will deliver driftwood showers to nearby coastal regions. Paddleboarders should remain vigilant of unexpected obstacles.


This pattern of record occurrences will repeat until

the winds of human behaviour change

course by multiple degrees.