Poem by Jenna Conradie
Art by Amy Ng
I am an atheist, yet I find myself
Searching for right angles in the clouds
Checking to see if that eyelash wish came true
Bargaining to popcorn ceilings when I fall short
I am an atheist, yet I find myself
Preparing to be seen when there’s no one around
I find myself calling out to the world
“Watch me, watch me” as though to a parent
I lie in bed and tuck my hair
Behind my ears, smooth down my shirt and
Bite my lips to give them colour
I pretend not to watch that man as he watches me
I am an atheist, I am my own voyeur
I don’t need that lamb-sculptor, that tiger-architect
Because that man is always at my keyhole and
I tell myself I would miss him if he were not