The Woman’s Voyeur

Poem by Jenna Conradie

Art by Amy Ng

I am an atheist, yet I find myself 

Searching for right angles in the clouds 

Checking to see if that eyelash wish came true 

Bargaining to popcorn ceilings when I fall short 


I am an atheist, yet I find myself 

Preparing to be seen when there’s no one around

I find myself calling out to the world

“Watch me, watch me” as though to a parent


I lie in bed and tuck my hair

Behind my ears, smooth down my shirt and

Bite my lips to give them colour 

I pretend not to watch that man as he watches me


I am an atheist, I am my own voyeur

I don’t need that lamb-sculptor, that tiger-architect 

Because that man is always at my keyhole and 

I tell myself I would miss him if he were not